Thoughts on Life After Caregiving

As caregivers, we find ourselves fully immersed in the day to day hardships and rewards that come with having a loved one who needs round the clock attention. Whether the journey lasts months or years, as caregivers, we take on new identities and life paths. Schedules get more chaotic, hobbies may change drastically and social circles wane. We become so involved in caring for our loved ones that we tend to lose ourselves in the name of servitude. Our entire lives seem put on hold in the pursuit of giving our loved ones the care and attention they need and deserve. Just as we may have not been mentally prepared for our loved one’s dying process, chances are that we may not be mentally ready for the after-death process.
It is not easy to move on after a loved one’s death. After the caregiving ends, you may feel at a loss. Suddenly there is so much time in a day. You may find yourself wondering what you did before being your loved one’s caregiver. It’s important to remember that there is not going to be a return to “normal” that you may have imagined prior to your loss. Instead, the goal should be finding a new “normal”. Though all the extra time may be overwhelming, it can be a great way to focus on reconnecting with your passions in life. Reconnect with friends, discover rewarding hobbies, learn a new skill, or volunteer in your local community. Volunteering in a caregiving role can be a great way to transition into your new normal, as it is reminiscent of the past yet serves as a springboard for your future.
There may be days that seem to never end, thoughts of regret that paralyze and strip motivation from its core. But do not lose hope; time really does heal all wounds. Finding the beauty that remains and surrounds us on a daily basis can be a consistent reminder that things will get better. Finally, one of the best things you can do is to share the memories of your loved one with your family and freinds, and pass along insights that being a caregiver has given you. And remember the impact your compassion and care had on the one you cared for. In this way you can connect the past with the present to make a new normal for the future.